Monday, December 26, 2022

Jamadilakhir 2, 1444: Work, no play make Jack a dull boy

In the name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate; blessings and peace be upon Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.


Establish worship

and pay the poor due

and obey the messenger,

that haply ye may find mercy. (Nur 24:56)

A very close friend of mine, Haji Muzafar Jantan who sees me working hard at my desk, often cracks this joke: "Work and no play make Jack a dull boy!" I understand his intention. It means: "let's go for a cup of coffee." 

The same could be said about married life. Routine chores could make a couple's life dull, perhaps my idea of taking my wife for a 'second honeymoon' around the country could add a spark to our relationship of more than two decades.

To the Almighty, Allah SWT we prayed our married life would be blessed one; take note that on some wedding invitation cards, there are beautiful phrases such as, "We pray to Allah SWT that He blesses this couple as He had blessed the marriages of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him, pbuh) and Lady Khadijah; Prophet Yusof and Zulaika; and Prophet Adam and Hawa (Adam and Eve).

Regarding the importance of injecting spicy to one's married life; including taking one's wife on a journey, it was narrated by the Prophet's wife 'Aa'ishah who reported, that once, when she went on a journey with the Prophet (pbuh), and she challenged him to a race, and won. Later when she had gained weight, she raced him again, but this time he won, and told her, "This is for that."

"The conscientious Muslim does not neglect to relieve the tedium of routine life with his wife, so he spices their daily life with a little gentle humour and playfulness from time to time. In doing so, he follows the example of the Prophet (pbuh) whose whole life is the highest example for us.

"Although he is constantly busy with the overwhelming task of laying the foundation of Islam, building the Muslim ummah, directing the army in jihad, and numerous other concerns, he did not let that keep him from being an ideal husband to his wives, treating them in the best possible way, with a smiling face and a touch of gentle humour." – The Ideal Muslim by Muhammad Ali Al-Hashim (International Islamic Publishing House)

The Prophet (pbuh) gave many recommendations concerning women, to the extend that he described the man who treats his wife well as being one of the best and among the elite of his ummah: "The believer who has the most perfect faith is the one whose behaviour is best, and the best of you are the ones who are best to their women." (Tirmidhi)

Nowadays when reading newspapers we often come across news of husbands mistreating their wives including cases of sadism such as pouring acid on their wives. Perhaps these husbands never took the opportunity to follow lessons at the masjid. During the Prophet (pbuh) time, some women came to the family of the Prophet (pbuh) complaining about their husbands.

So the Prophet (pbuh) announced to the men: "Many women have visited the family of Muhammad, complaining about their husbands. Verily those are not the best among you." (Abu Dawood, Nasaa'I and Ibn Maajah)

Men and women including the writer and readers could turn over a new leaf. Some ulemas (Islamic scholars) concluded than we have only three circumstances (times, periods) – yesterday, this moment, and tomorrow. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is uncertain. So make full use of this moment. One of my on-line friend sent me this beautiful posting; hopefully it could help us in soaring back our dull married life.

For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,

A time for war, and a time for peace. – Ecclesiastes

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