Even Prophet Musa prayers were not answered until 40 years later...

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful; blessings and peace be upon Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

Reflection

The Declining Day (Al-'Asr)
1. By the declining day,
2. Lo! Man is in a state of loss,
3. Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort 
one another to truth and exhort one another to endurance.

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BUKU TERBUKA UNTUK JUALAN

4. Tajuk: Di Dalam Lembah Kehidupan

Penulis: Prof Dr Hamka 

Penerbit: Pustaka Dini

Muka surat: 207 (Harga asal dibeli RM17)

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Penilaian LanH terhadap buku ini yang sudah dibaca beliau: Sangat bagus

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3. Tajuk: Keadilan Ilahi

Penulis: Prof Dr Hamka 

Penerbit: Pustaka Dini

Muka surat: 123 (Harga asal dibeli RM13)

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Penilaian LanH terhadap buku ini yang sudah dibaca beliau: Sangat bagus

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2. Tajuk: Rahsia Madinah (Jejak Rasul 2)-----------(XXXXXXXXX  MAAF, SUDAH DIJUAL)

Penulis: Khalil Ibrahim Mulla Khothir 

Penerbit: Al-Hidayah Publishers

Muka surat: 218 (Harga tertulis di buku RM14)

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Penilaian LanH terhadap buku ini yang sudah dibaca beliau: Sangat bagus

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1. Tajuk: Rahsia Mekah (Jejak Rasul 1)-------------(XXXXXXXXXXXX MAAF, SUDAH DIJUAL)

Penulis: 'Atiq bin Ghaits Al-Biladi

Penerbit: Al-Hidayah Publishers

Muka surat: 300 (Harga tertulis di buku RM15)

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Penilaian LanH terhadap buku ini yang sudah dibaca beliau: Sangat bagus

MY father in law was warded in a public hospital. I visited him almost daily and when I was in his ward, I took the opportunity to get to know patients near his bed. One person I love to chat to was Cikgu Abdul Aziz, a pensioner who was in his eighties.

I had spoken to him several times, every time I approached him, he was cheerful and most important of all, he would 'gave his mind' on matters regarding life - well his age spoke about his experiences...perfecting the Malay proverb - 'dia yang lebih dulu makan garam' (translated literally as he or she who tastes salt first).

One evening I queried him on how to have a happy marriage life. He said number one, both husband and wife must be 'bertakwa' (with piety). Both are willing to lead lives according the teaching of Islam. Their aim in life are to please Allah SWT; thus they are ready to make sacrifice including of that regarding their feelings, needs and pleasures.

How to make a 'bertakwa' husband and wife team? Among others, we must have knowledge, said the grand old man. Thus, learn and never stop learning. And 'du'a' (do supplication) and never stop from doing so.

What should we do if only the husband is pious and not the wife? Guide her including asking her to expand her knowledge. Do not dream of 'a magic (fast) result'. It is not you who could change people, but it is Allah SWT.

Allah says in the Qur'an to ask Him and He shall answer our prayers. It is within the power of Allah to alter our fate. It is through our 'du'a' that we ask Allah for His Mercy and Benevolence.

There is a hadith that mentions believers must have faith that Allah will answer their 'du'a'. Allah may answer our 'du'a' during our life in this temporal world or He may defer our request till we are in the Hereafter. Allah responds to our 'du'a' in many ways. He may answer by pardoning or obviating our sins, or by sparing us of an undesirable fate. Allah may choose to respond to our 'du'a' in any manner He so chooses.

Another hadith mentions that our dua will be more likely to be accepted if we are patient and not in any rush in making the 'du'a'. There is a story of Prophet Musa a.s. whose prayers were not answered until at least 40 years later. If this was how long a prophet's prayers were answered by Allah, then us mere believers should not be hasty in expecting an answer from Allah. We must never utter statements to the effect that Allah does not listen to our prayers.

The 'cikgu' said 'ilmu kahwin' (knowledge about marriage) is a must to not only to would be husband and wife but also to 'veteran brides and bridegrooms' (parents) because marriage is an 'ibadah' (act of devotion to Allah SWT). We must know what is 'halal' (permissible) and 'haram' in our marriage.

In this current world of easy divorces, broken relationship and same-sex marriages, some may wonder if the original institution of marriage that brings a man and a woman together can really withstand the test of time. What then is the secret to a long and fulfilling marriage...?

It is a question that cannot be easily answered because every relationship is unique. Bringing two different people - and probably also two families - together is a challenge in itself.

First of all, to have a ‘religious’ wife, you should be ‘religious’ too, said the 'cikgu'. A good man is for a good woman and vise versa. Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. in a 'hadith' by Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim said: “A woman may be married for four things: for her wealth, for her noble descent, for her beauty or for her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust!” 

So to dear young men and women out there, remember that the character of a good husband is not the one who provided for all the material pleasures demanded by his wife but who was able to guide her for her safety in this world and more importantly in the Hereafter. 

The Qur’an says with the meaning: “O! You who believe, save yourself and your families from Hell-fire, whose fuel are humans and stones (idols) over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do (precisely) what they are commanded.” (At-Tahrim 66: 6)

Yes, provide for and save your wife from Hell-fire; you are on the right track to be a good husband. Unfortunately in today’s material world, a man who could provide worldly pleasures and fulfill the lust of his wife is looked upon as a good husband. 

The wife’s crave for those pleasures are fulfilled. ‘High class’ women demand ‘high class taste of living'; perhaps these included shopping in top fashion and capital cities of the world such as New York, London and Paris looking for Birkin handbags, diamond rings and so on. She also demands to stay in top and exclusive hotels of the world and attending star-studded party. 

A religious wife is a precious treasure to a man for example  she would not demand from her husband worldly pleasures which are not within his means. She knows his limitation and acknowledges her obligation to obey and please him.

In Islam, the husband is the ‘qawwaam’ (maintainer) of his wife so that he will be a ‘real man’ knowing how to steer the ship of family life towards the shore of safety and guidance. 

Islam warns all men against the trail and ‘fitnah’ (temptation) of women, which may make them heedless and weak, and lessen their religious commitment, so that they turn a blind eye to the waywardness and unIslamic behaviour of their wives. 

In such a case a husband has no say: his wife is controlling everything in the home, so that he dare not disobey her, or answer to her back, or refuse any of her wimps. The Prophet (s.a.w.) was right when he said that this is the most damaging of trails and temptations that a man can be faced with: “There will be no ‘fitnah’ after my death that is worse for men than the ‘fitnah’ of women.” (Bukhari and Muslim) 

The Muslim husband is a man who is not weak in dealing with the trial of a wayward wife, no matter how difficult that ‘fitnah’ is. He gently makes it clear to her that no matter how much he loves her, he loves Allah and the Prophet s.a.w. more, and his desire to please Allah is stronger than his feelings for her: Say, [O Muhammad], "If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people." (Qur’an 9:24) 

In this way, the female waywardness which we see in many so-called Muslim homes will be done away with. The man who sees his wife, daughters and sisters going out in the street with make-up, uncovered heads and bare arms, clothed but seeming naked and does nothing to stop this disobedience in Islam, has surely lost his manhood, abandoned Islam and earned the wrath of Allah SWT. He is a ‘dayus’. There is no way out of this predicament but sincere repentance which will wake him up, restore his manhood and set him back in the straight path. 

Islam considers women to be a trust which has been given to men for safe-keeping. As the wife is usually influenced by her husband, he may take her with him to Paradise or lead her to Hell. Therefore Allah SWT ordered the believing men to protect both themselves and their families from the Fire and gave a terrifying picture of the awful fate that awaits them if they neglect their responsibilities towards their wives and families and fail to compel them to adhere to the truth. 

To achieve a harmonious family, what more blessing from Allah SWT The Almighty; scholars gave these advises:

1. Before being married, the future husband and wife would have to have the intention of being a good partner.

2. Thanks the Almighty for giving us a partner, the husband should think that his wife is the best for him and vice versa.

3. An exemplary husband makes his wife proud.

4. Smile when the husband returns home, the husband too should be jovial when returning from work.

5. Make sure husband and wife have time to talk to one another.

6. The husband and wife communicate with one another by SMS, telephoning etc.

7. Make the wife happy by telling her stories.

8. Have lunch or dinner together with family members.

9. Husband and wife are encouraged to take their bath together.

10. Help the wife in doing household chores such as mending shoes and shirts.

11. Practice having meetings with family members.

12. Do not divulge each other’s secret.

13. Be respectful on the wife’s family members.

14. Becoming a forgiving person.

15. Fulfill the wife’s need.

Not long ago, our government launched an ambitious program named ‘Rumahku, syurgaku’ (translated literally as ‘My home, my heaven) so that families could have homes that were peaceful heaven – like abode for them.

The most important requirement in making ‘My home, my heaven’ for Muslims is that family members should perform ‘solat berjemaah’ (hold congregational prayers). They too have to practice reading and understanding the Qur’an, reading and studying religious books and ready to help one another. 

As for myself, after being married for almost 30 years now and experiencing the up and down of a marriage, I must agreed to my mother who is now in her 70-s, who said that as time passes, the challengers to maintain a marriage gets difficult by each days...only the 'iman' (faith) helps us to hold on.

At old age when 'almost everything' such as beauty, strength and pardon me sexual attractions and abilities had been taken away from us, only our love to Allah SWT made us still loyal to our spouses. We still love our husbands or wives because Allah SWT told us to do so. If we gave our earnest deeds and hearts to our partners in the name of Allah; then He would be please to us and rewarded us in this world and the Hereafter.